The Struggle

Writing has never been easy. Anyone who tells you differently is either a machine or crazy. That’s just my opinion. I’ve been off work for almost a year now and I’ve always told myself that if I had the time, I would write, write, write, and publish, fulling my dream of becoming a full time author. It was always a catch 22. I worked full time, the mother of two, and taking care of my parents. When did I have the time? It was a struggle. Now the so called traditional job is gone and yet I’m still struggling. Why? Well, let me tell you.

Reality. A cold hard reality that life doesn’t play. Life can be messy. Life can be unstable and unpredictable. I’m still a mother of two and taking care of my parents, errands, appointments, and helping my family when I can. So now it’s time to really sit down and analyze what I can do in order to fullfill my dream. A schedule. I really need a schedule and I think I’m working on it. I am writing but I’ve had to make some sacrifices, such as sleep! I get up anywhere between 4 and 5:30 am. I make my coffee and open my laptop.

So I’m getting there! Now I need to find the motivation behind my dream. I had it, was so close! And then I lost it again, somewhere along the way of this appointment or that errand. It never fails. Even struggling, I still get up super early. It’s peaceful. It’s quiet. The kids are sleeping and so innocent-looking as I breathe deep and just relax. I think that has a lot to do with my lack of motivation and drive right now. When I get up early, it’s MY time. It’s my time to decompress. It’s my time to drink my coffee in silence. It’s my time to think about the future, to wonder if I’m raising my children right, with good morals and values. I think I am but again, it’s MY time and it gets to the point of being selfish as I sit, relax, and just let the silence flow over me.

But now it’s time. It’s time to get back to writing, to creating this world and the characters struggling to survive in a world of blood, danger, and suspense.

I’ll get there, promise.

More updates coming! I plan on updating my current writing project and my process behind the scenes.

Stay tuned, stay safe, and take it one day at a time!