The Struggle

Writing has never been easy. Anyone who tells you differently is either a machine or crazy. That’s just my opinion. I’ve been off work for almost a year now and I’ve always told myself that if I had the time, I would write, write, write, and publish, fulling my dream of becoming a full time author. It was always a catch 22. I worked full time, the mother of two, and taking care of my parents. When did I have the time? It was a struggle. Now the so called traditional job is gone and yet I’m still struggling. Why? Well, let me tell you.

Reality. A cold hard reality that life doesn’t play. Life can be messy. Life can be unstable and unpredictable. I’m still a mother of two and taking care of my parents, errands, appointments, and helping my family when I can. So now it’s time to really sit down and analyze what I can do in order to fullfill my dream. A schedule. I really need a schedule and I think I’m working on it. I am writing but I’ve had to make some sacrifices, such as sleep! I get up anywhere between 4 and 5:30 am. I make my coffee and open my laptop.

So I’m getting there! Now I need to find the motivation behind my dream. I had it, was so close! And then I lost it again, somewhere along the way of this appointment or that errand. It never fails. Even struggling, I still get up super early. It’s peaceful. It’s quiet. The kids are sleeping and so innocent-looking as I breathe deep and just relax. I think that has a lot to do with my lack of motivation and drive right now. When I get up early, it’s MY time. It’s my time to decompress. It’s my time to drink my coffee in silence. It’s my time to think about the future, to wonder if I’m raising my children right, with good morals and values. I think I am but again, it’s MY time and it gets to the point of being selfish as I sit, relax, and just let the silence flow over me.

But now it’s time. It’s time to get back to writing, to creating this world and the characters struggling to survive in a world of blood, danger, and suspense.

I’ll get there, promise.

More updates coming! I plan on updating my current writing project and my process behind the scenes.

Stay tuned, stay safe, and take it one day at a time!

Published by desiree30

I have been writing since I was sixteen years old and love to write both horror and romantic suspense. I think there have been many influences within my life that has set me on the path that I can not help but walk. A few of those names consist of Karen Rose, Lisa Gardener, Nora Roberts, Cynthia Eden, Catherine Anderson, Laura Griffin, Andrea Kane, and Lisa Jackson, just to name a few. This list by no means defines by own writing but they have indeed influenced my desire to live outside of my own world and to create the thrill of my dreams. I live on 40 + acres in the SHOW ME state with my two daughters, ten years and nine months. They are a handful! I also have three wonderful dogs. The weather is unpredictable, but the surrounding beauty of the country helps my creativity as I sit on my top deck with my laptop and coffee close by.

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